He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
