I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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