Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
