wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
