I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize