every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think people are normalizing furries
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
