Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize