You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Enjoy the penises
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
