help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
