Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
