I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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