We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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