i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
