and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
