you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
