yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
