Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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