wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize