So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
