redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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