I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
