I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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