is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
