I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
