i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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