omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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