So drunk its hurt
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
