woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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