i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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