i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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