He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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