Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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