I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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