I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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