I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
