where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
