Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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