just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
