I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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