I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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