OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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