I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
