Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
