I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
