We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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