Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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