I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
