I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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