The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
