I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
