I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
