Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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