So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I want to have your abortion
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
