Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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