I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
