do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
