Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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