help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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