i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
