So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
