When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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