All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
