Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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