He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
