I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Randomize
