I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
only if we run a train.
done.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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