We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
