we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
