Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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